Does Islam allow a husband to hit his wife?

This verse is quoted at Muslims more than almost any other, so the honest answer starts with it rather than around it.

“Men are in charge of women by right of what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend for maintenance from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in the husband's absence what Allah would have them guard. But those wives from whom you fear arrogance - first advise them; then if they persist, forsake them in bed; and finally, strike them lightly. But if they obey you once more, seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.” (Qur’an 4:34)

What the verse describes is a sequence, and the order matters:

1. Advice: talking it through. 2. Sleeping apart: Ibn ‘Abbās explained it as lying in the same bed with his back to her. 3. A strike: only if both have failed, and only for *nushūz*, serious and persistent misconduct against the marriage. Not a disagreement, a bad mood or a burnt meal.

And the verse closes the door behind it: once the misconduct ends, nothing more may be done against her. Ibn Kathīr explains that from then on he has no right to strike her or to keep away from her bed.

The limits the Prophet ﷺ put on it. In his sermon at the Farewell Hajj he told men to fear Allah concerning women, and restricted it to *ḍarban ghayra mubarriḥ*, a strike that is not severe (Sahih Muslim 1218). Ibn ‘Abbās and others gave the same limit; al-Ḥasan al-Baṣrī explained it as a strike that leaves no mark, and the jurists, as Ibn Kathīr records, as one that breaks nothing and leaves no trace on her. Asked what a wife is owed, he said to feed her when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, and not to strike her face or revile her (Sunan Abi Dawud 2142). So whatever injures, humiliates or frightens her is outside what the verse permits. It is harm, and harm is forbidden.

What he did himself. ‘Ā’isha said: “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ never struck anything with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant, except when he was fighting in the cause of Allah” (Sahih Muslim 2328). When some men struck their wives and the women came to his household to complain, he said: “Many women have come to the family of Muhammad complaining about their husbands. Those are not the best among you” (Sunan Abi Dawud 2146). And: “The best of you are those who are best to their wives” (Jami‘ at-Tirmidhi 1162).

So the allowance in the verse is real, it is fenced in on every side, and the Prophet ﷺ never once used it and said the men who did were not the best. The standing instruction for a marriage is in the same sūra: “O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take back part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality i.e., adultery. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” (Qur’an 4:19)

If you are being hurt at home: what is happening to you is not your religion, and enduring it is not piety. Ibn Kathīr ends his commentary on this verse by warning husbands that Allah Himself stands for a wife who is wronged. Tell someone you trust, and contact the support services or the police where you live.